@1Happytwit: Cats are weird. They look at you like they want to set you on fire then look all surprised when you toss them into the ceiling fan.
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@salmarch79: Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.
@KalvinMacleod: ME: my wife eats all the caramel corn and leaves the cheese JUDGE: give this man full custody of the kids ME: no wait they do the same thing
@ToneLoaf: If you beep your horn .004 seconds after the light changes green, I will shut off the car, lay on the hood and feed the birds for an hour.