@riverpig12: Cats get a pass bc they're "Cleaning themselves". Dogs are like, Hey! I can reach this?!?!
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@lazerdoov: Me: check out this new gadget. It carbonates anything! Friend: cool Me: yeah even blood Friend: um I gotta go Me: lol no you're staying
@AimeeHelene1: My CW just barked. Ok, it may have been a burp, but I'd like him a lot more if he were turning into a dog, so I think he barked.
@bitterADDitude: Hair in bun=housework Hair in ponytail=oral sex Body language is important-So he doesn't get excited when I'm about to 2 scrub the toilet
@iscoff: We'd like to sincerely apologize for booking the Karate Convention on the same day as the Rare Wooden Boards Fair