@riverpig12: Cats get a pass bc they're "Cleaning themselves". Dogs are like, Hey! I can reach this?!?!
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@jimmytorosian: I bring giant stuffed animals into carnivals so when I walk around people will think that I am good at something.
@zachreinert03: I'm getting a restraining order against my debt collectors. As much as they call me it's really just starting to come across as desperate