@Sveldtsmelt: Cats have tails so you can swing them around. Duh.
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@Loli_Sug: Hospitals don't like it when you unplug things to charge your phone w/ out asking first
@shutupmikeginn: Putin: I have returned Russia to its glory days, once again we have launched a dog into space Reporter: when will it return Putin: WHat
@AlexRogaski: Wife: The police are here asking about a break in at the pet store Me from within a pile of puppies: Tell them I'm not here.