@kylamb16: "Cats typically sleep 16-20 hours per day."
Yes. Hi. I'm interested in the position.
@Browtweaten: Me: You said everything in here was edible
Willy Wonka: Yes, but-
Me: *takes another bite of Oompa Loompa* Tastes like a circus peanut
@ShakespearePop: I just made your acquaintance, and this is preposterous, but here is my address, perhaps thou shall mail me maybe.
@jimmytorosian: I bring giant stuffed animals into carnivals so when I walk around people will think that I am good at something.
@Chumpstring: doctor: your system is full of drugs
patient: you should see the other guy
doctor: what other guy
patient: you can’t see him
@captainkalvis: date: [walking out of the theater after seeing happy feet] that was so cute
me: [has a foot fetish] it was fine