@lecalabara: Caught my son running a Google search for "adult entertainment". I was mortified. We are strictly a Bing family.
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@TheBigBatman: During childbirth the pain is so great that a woman almost knows what it's like for a man to have the flu.
@stockejock: Pretty much the most frightening part of my day is when I get a notification that my mother has tagged me in a post on Facebook.
@Nocturnesthesia: Went for a handshake and got snubbed. So I turned it into an impromptu Macarena dance, since I didn't wanna look stupid