@loisandbea: Cauliflower is just broccoli ghosts.
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@RexHuppke: My favorite part of the Bible is where Jesus gives money to the rich, tells the poor to suck it up and asks for Caesar's birth certificate.
@therealeatwood: ME: So you indicate action using airstrikes? HER: What? No, I said asterisks. ME: Ha, of course. [to walkie-talkie] Disengage. DISENGAGE!
@HatfieldAnne: “Keep pumping until something happens.” -Home Depot guy teaching me to prime the snow blower says the first thing I've understood.