@Classy_Cassy89: Cause of Death: Dropped full can of soda on baby toe.
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@POTerritory: Him: You put feathers of a crow in this drink? Me: Yes, I made sure they all came from 1 crow. It's... Him: Please don't. Me: ...single molt
@NoTheOtherJohn: Me: Pull my finger. Doctor: Ok. [finger detaches] Me: AAAAHHHHH! Doctor: AAAAHHHHH!!! ME: haha j/k that's actually why I came in.
@comer310: Orange: Knock knock Apple: Who's there? O: Orange A: Orange who? O: Orange you glad I didn't say Banana? A: Yes! That guy is the WORST!
@thatguyJA: My son ate all the marshmallows in the Lucky Charms and well guess who isn't paying for his college now.