@Classy_Cassy89: Cause of Death: Dropped full can of soda on baby toe.
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@fuzzlime: *finally gets comfortable with you* *starts whispering in your ear* "oooo baby I can recite all my phobias in alpha order"
@shariv67: The only French I know are words for food items and the chorus of Lady Marmelade. Turns out that's all you really need.
@Caissie: My son on the morning of his prom: "Well, it just occurred to me that I paid $130 to go to my school at night."