@jessokfine: Cause of death: Very rough shirt tag
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@crouton_futon: "Oh shit I murdered someone" "You should turn yourself into the police" "Great idea!" *puts on badge and hat* "Looks like a suicide to me"
@RandomManik: My gym instructor says that Warm-Ups are extremely necessary. So, I brought donuts along this time but I can't find the microwave oven.
@Cheeseboy22: My driver's license says I'm an organ donor but jokes on them because I have a piano.
@Contwixt: "Shrooms before brooms," I say to the coven of stereotypical witches who have quite magically appeared in my living room.