@jessokfine: Cause of death: Very rough shirt tag
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@Reverend_Scott: [job interview] What's ur greatest strength? "I wear too much cologne" No, I mean- "A lady legit passed out when I got in the elevator"
@EndhooS: [Dinner with GFs parents] *Does shadow puppet of a bird* "Thats great but I asked what you do for a living?" Um *smooths tie* I'm unemployed
@eyeswidebutt: [hanging out w mob] "Tony sleeps with the fishes" *they all laugh* [self conscious about my sexual habits w fish]: its not a big deal guys