@jessokfine: Cause of death: Very rough shirt tag
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@Maxine12333: Daughter saw old clothes I've saved for sentimental value & said 'I bet you cried when the last dinosaur died too'. She's out of the will.
@TragicAllyHere: You know people ask "how are you still single" to singles? It'd be funny if we started saying "how are you still married" to married people
@QwertyJones3: MY DAD: Foreigners in this country need to learn English. ALSO MY DAD: I heard you got a new hi-bird car.