@SortaBad: Celebrating Easter by looking like I've been dead in a cave for the last 3 days
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@ladybroseph: *A burlap bag is pulled off your head, a bright spotlight is causing you to blink* WHERE DOES THE ARCHIVED MICROSOFT OUTLOOK EMAIL GO.
@mikealfredcaine: my cousin jeff died today. sent flowers to the family with a little card saying "jeff is dead" so they know what the flowers are for
@aPunch2theJunk: I heard someone say a guy on TV "oozes sexiness." I don't think oozing is very sexy at all. If something oozes, it's probably infected.
@BackrowSeats: Been in an accident? Know someone who's been in an accident? If not, call us & we'll come push you down the stairs or something.