@SortaBad: Celebrating Easter by looking like I've been dead in a cave for the last 3 days
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@WilliamAder: Auto-correct turned "likeable" into "lickable" and the new intern is confused by her evaluation.
@: Realtor: this house is cursed Me: *scared of the supernatural* oh no Realtor: WITH AN EXTREMLY REASONABLE MARKET PRICE Me: oh ok Realtor: on account of the bleeding walls and ritual sacrifices Me: Oh No
@Carroll_Amy_: the Purge but instead of killing for 24 hours we get to talk to customers the way they talk to us
@sixfootcandy: Guy cuts me off in traffic. I give him the finger. He gives me the finger. I give him my number. We're married now.