@SortaBad: Celebrating Easter by looking like I've been dead in a cave for the last 3 days
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@JP_theAntiHero: Cat: who? Me: what? Cat: when? Me: where? Cat: how? Me: Cat: we need a life Me: we Cat: well Im dead and ur talkin to me so more you Me:
@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: you didn't use my shampoo again did you? ME: *shakes my head no but my lustrous hair gives me away*
@duplicitron: *returns four pounds of skirt steak to butcher* I'm sorry. This just doesn't fit me like I thought it would.