@JennyJohnsonHi5: Celebrity divorce statements remind us of the names they gave their kids. "We want to focus on raising our children, Shoe and Turbo Pickle."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@thatdutchperson: [first date] Her: I just love eating clean and staying healthy, you know? Me:*flashback to the time I cry-ate two lasagnas* Totally
@JD_Barney: I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"
@AnniemuMary: My grocery store changed its whole layout. It was better the other way so I'm slowly and quietly moving everything back.
@LlamaInaTux: Zookeeper: This panda is on the rampage and I only have 1 tranquilizer dart Me: it’s pandamonium! Zookeeper: [shoots me right between the eyes]