@JennyJohnsonHi5: Celebrity divorce statements remind us of the names they gave their kids. "We want to focus on raising our children, Shoe and Turbo Pickle."
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@fro_vo: "hey what's that sqiggly thing on the ground?" "i don't know, it looks kinda like a w or m" -- how the worm got its name
@AimeeHelene1: I own a lot of cleaning supplies for someone whose friends inscribed "dust me" on my coffee table recently.
@Marlebean: Me: Shut the door, I need privacy 4y/o: But we're family! Me: Families don't watch each other go poop 4:You watch me poop! Me:...take a seat