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@Arrogant_Twat: Cell division, explained:
@Home_Halfway: Sorry I just saw your text from last night, are you guys still at the restaurant
@iwearaonesie: my brother turned 30 this weekend and i'll never forget what mom said when dad told her we're growing up too fast
"they're eating dog food"
@wesjohnson8: The trouble with lawyer jokes is that lawyers don't think they're funny, & nobody else thinks they're jokes.
@Mr_Mike_Clarke: Is it wrong to eat a Blueberry Muffin that looks just like your dog?!
@nPhelendriqal: I just wrote a check for 6 dollars, so I don't really wanna hear about your 'summer' house.