@HuffPostComedy: We like the way Dwight thinks
@iwearaonesie: How much longer?
Did you bring any snacks?
They want $5 for M&M's!
I wanna go home
Is it over yet?
- me watching my kids Christmas pageant
@thetits: Guarantees in life:
1) death
2) taxes
3) me pulling the handle of your car door at the same moment you try to unlock it
@Marcmywords2: "Where you going, we're in the middle of a conversation."
OMG! This is just the middle.
Annnnnd that's how the fight started.
@djdarrellripley: Me: I forbid you to go!
Her: What was that?
Me: You heard me! I said, "I'd really appreciate it if you'd reconsider!"
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