@WheelTod: Cement your reputation as the office Romeo by committing suicide over an underage girl you've been seeing for less than a week.
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@CraveMyThoughts: Date someone who spoils you, always says how beautiful you are, and never thinks you've had enough to eat. Date your grandma
@saucy_peaches: HR writing an email saying I'm a naughty girl is not an acceptable excuse to not take awareness training... Apparently
@iwearaonesie: If you use karate instead of a knife your wife won't ask you to cut the vegetables anymore