@WheelTod: Cement your reputation as the office Romeo by committing suicide over an underage girl you've been seeing for less than a week.
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@theSwellMan: Probably the worst thing about dying a virgin would be all the dead terrorists that are waiting for you.
@Scdavis24: Guys, if you have to point your toes to put your pants on, those aren't your pants. Give them back to your sister.
@_NTFG_: Sometimes when I say "I'm OK", what I really want is for someone to give me a hug, say "You're not OK" and hand me $10,000.
@BuckyIsotope: [I time travel and bring back Shakespeare] SHAKESPEARE: What’s this? ME: That’s a meme SHAKESPEARE: What the hell is wrong with you people