@WheelTod: Cement your reputation as the office Romeo by committing suicide over an underage girl you've been seeing for less than a week.
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@katvonwitt: Local news station is airing a segment on free rent in exchange for sex. Look, you don't have to tell me how a marriage works.
@KentWGraham: Should I be suspicious if my wife sends me to pick up something she bought on Craig’s List just a week after we updated our life insurance?
@TheTweetOfGod: "Why are all the good ones either married, gay or the Son of God?" - Mary Magdalene.
@ch000ch: me: if ur soulmate dies before u meet them do u get like a backup soulmate professor: i meant questions about the midterm