@codyspencer0: Cereal box mascots give kids a dangerously positive view of animals who in the wild would literally kill them before they gave them cereal.
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@J0hnnyBlaze: Me: "Excuse me, hi" Her: "Um, I have a boyfriend" Me: "Good for you. I was trying to say your herpes cream fell out of your purse"
@withanewname: Clipity clop, BANG! Clipity clop, BANG! Clipity clop, BANG! Clipity clop, BANG! Clipity clop, BANG! -Amish drive by
@redherringbear: Back in college, I used to hang a sock on the doorknob when I wanted to signal my roommate that I had no idea how to fold laundry.
@PinkCamoTO: It's like grandma always said... Make sure you put everything in the medicine cabinet back where you found it or you won't be invited back.