@ei8htiesbaby: Chalant isn't even a word. Well played nonchalant. Well played.
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@girlontapas: Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There's liquor and you can't hear them.
@jonnysun: ME: [in santa costume, covered in chimney soot] that was hard. how does santa do it WIFE: well santas not real, hun ME: [drops cookie] WHAT
@TheCiscoKidder: My son is at that tender age where he believes me when I say that the dog ate the rest of the cookies out of the pantry.