@daemonic3: Professor: Today's exam is written. Next week we will do oral Class in unison: I HAVE A BOYFRIEND

@AnOrangeSNES: My password is Superman Hulk Thor Goku, that's the strongest password I can think of.

@HallpassCanada: Everytime I check my facebook I remember why i'm on Twitter.

@wolfmannjr: No, YOU didn't tighten the cap on my urine sample

@jazmasta: *i get on a rollercoaster with my washing machine* "Hold tight son...WAIT! If u are here then.." *son is at home w/ a mouth full of laundry*