@birbigs: Chamomile tea makes chamomile pee.
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@Sickayduh: "In my defense, Your Honor, I only made comments about her yoga pants cause harassment a lot to me" "Bailiff, please hi-five the defendant"
@ExploringUrMind: Drugs, is not the answer unless the question is why are you eating spaghetti with your hands.
@daemonic3: [traffic court] Your honor, I'm here to dispute 4 of my 5 tickets JUDGE: Repeat infractions? Ok, I'm here to dispute ⁴/₅ of my tickets