@anylaurie16: Changed ex's name in my cell to Do Not Engage. Unfortunately, his middle name Not doesn't show up when he texts.
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@JerryThomas: I just bought an answering machine and it doesn't work. Or maybe I'm just asking it the wrong questions.
@hamspamtymaam: Never reach into a girl's purse. Anything could be inside, a bear could be in there. You just don't know.
@mydmac: (At the dentist) 'Your grinding isn't good.' Excuse me! I've never had a man complain before.