@anylaurie16: Changed ex's name in my cell to Do Not Engage. Unfortunately, his middle name Not doesn't show up when he texts.
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@FilthyRichmond: I bring our baby to the bar so I can throw her at people and slurp down their c**ktails while they're trying to catch her.
@noogscorner: A young Lil' Wayne sits alone typing lyrics into Word 97 when a cartoon paperclip suddenly appears on-screen. [Did you mean "digger"?]