@mattZillaaaa: *changes voicemail recording to "your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please check the number and dial again
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@AnkCoupleTO: I was in the mood for nuts this morning so I chased a squirrel for 3 miles and the little prick led me right to his stash, yum!
@weinerdog4life: Honey, I made the news! Apparently that old lady I fought at the library wasn't a ghost
@bingowings14: Someone claimed that their dog could retrieve a ball from up to a mile away, sounds a bit far fetched to me.