@mattZillaaaa: *changes voicemail recording to "your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please check the number and dial again
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@Sassafrantz: [public restroom] Me: We'll have to go some place else, it says "unavailable" Mom: Even the toilet found someone before you
@stoneman67: I followed this woman on a bike with an empty baby seat for a half a mile yelling, "your baby jumped out!" before she gave me the finger.
@anerdonfire2: The good news: She actually gave me her number The bad news: She asked for it back after I fell and tripped into a plant walking away
@MatCro: I'll never forget my grandad's last words on his deathbed. He said: "I should never have bought this deathbed. Asking for trouble..."