@WheelTod: Changing your mind can be a sign of strength. Like when I swear to tell the truth but then a prosecutor asks me a question & I decide not to
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@Carbosly: Me: My sex life is like your car. Friend: What? Sleek, performance-inspired, 6-speed, classic & acclaimed? Me: Nope. Electric powered.
@patrickmarkryan: Radio Shack would have filed for bankruptcy years ago but they've been trying to do it using dial-up internet
@Mindless4Miles: DJ: "MARRIED PEOPLE IN THE CLUB TONIGHT MAKE SOME NOOOIISE!" *Groans* *Sobs* *sighs* *a solitary gunshot*