@The_MartiniGirl: Charm me with your intelligence or just wait till I'm really drunk.
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@TheSwanDon: So my dad was all "stop eating my pills" and then I was like "stop melting into the floor and spinning multi colored webs you talking lamp"
@KaptainKoRnie: Bf and I are on 2 completely different emotional planes right now. Work faster, whiskey.
@papasuncle: I carry a stone around to throw at anyone I hear singing Christmas songs before Thanksgiving. I call it my Jingle Bell Rock.
@Vice_Queen: I don't believe in gender equality because there are just some things I'm not meant to do. Like be the sane one in a relationship.