@weinerdog4life: *chases cat around the house with a lint roller
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@IAmMikeFeeney: "Excellent choice, sir. And what temperature would you like me to microwave your steak to?" - The Honest Applebees Server
@freypalm: Her: You’re up to a pack a day now—you have to cut back. Me: [petting the alpha male of the wolf pack I just adopted] I can quit anytime.
@danabrit: I'm writing code, not making diamonds. Continuing to apply more and more pressure will not produce a better outcome.