@gylertagan: [Chasing a man out of the bathroom with a pube] Sir you dropped this!
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@fightforfood: Let's talk about Sex Baby. I regret you naming our son that. You're a real piece of shit, Tammy.
@DainWins: Life hack: McDonald's will deliver if you tell them that you are holding Ronald hostage for a ransom of [your desired food order]
@GrantTanaka: before 2018 ends, I'd like to apologize to the guy who parked too close to me at the Family Dollar. Sorry for leaving that note on your car, I did not mean those things I wrote about your mother
@IvoryGazelle: By age 35 you should have a drawer in your house filled with random items. That way, when you can't find something, you’ll just check the junk drawer. And boom, just like that, you won't find it there either.