@ArrogantBB8: *cheats at bowling by rolling into the pins*
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@Just_Beachy72: Answers phone breathlessly Friend: Sorry!! Didn't know you had company Me: I was washing floors F: Oh...is that the new code? Me: No...
@Hadzilla: Halloween '94: Mom says store sold out of Batman costumes and buys me a Catwoman one. Called me Catman. The worst part: she went as Batman?
@jwoodham: The only way I'm coming to your wedding is if YOU get ME a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do.
@Dunn_Right: Hey all you parents who recently named your kid Jax We get it you're unoriginal and watch SOA Hold on my daughter Grey's Anatomy is crying