@Rich_McCarthy: Check for bed bugs by yelling "Gee, I'm so happy there are no bed bugs here!", and if you hear faint giggling, set the bed on fire.
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@4SLars: PSA: If your kid bumps into me one more time with your shopping cart I will unhinge my jaw and swallow him whole.
@Gooooats: Instead of donating my body to science, I'll donate it to whoever has the best idea for a practical joke involving a dead body.