@iwearaonesie: *checks sons backpack to see how I did on his project*
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@Ramitology: Thank God you've updated your status to "Finished lunch" after you first posted "Going to lunch" I really couldn't tolerate more suspense.
@dafloydsta: BOSS: We need to improve morale ME: Okay BOSS: How about an office party? ME: [crosses out "replace coworkers with puppies"] I guess
@TheNardvark: TRAIN TIP: A few minutes before the train arrives at your destination, get up and crowd around the exit so you can wait faster.
@thenatewolf: *Creator of Charlie Brown sits down to draw a cartoon* What do eight-year-old boys look like again? Bald? It's bald, right?