@ShockTartBionic: Cheer up you won't be single forever. One day you'll die
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@Ristolable: The downside to posting jokes all the time is that if I tweeted "Help, I am in an Iranian prison" everyone would be like "haha good one"
@CoatCzech: Me: Table for four, please. And can we get some crayons? Her: Will there be children dining today? Me: No. The crayons are for me.
@BareChesty: If the tv show "Cops" has taught me anything, it's to stay away from ppl with blurry faces. They always cause trouble.