@KimMonte10: Cheerleaders are there to tell you that your team needs to score more points & the name of your team in case you forget at any given moment
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@Kendragarden: My neighbor said "nice skirt" so I said, "thanks, it helps me not blast Miley Cyrus at 6 in the morning, you should borrow it sometime."
@JohnLyonTweets: Friend: What time is it? Me: (pulls out phone, checks Twitter and Facebook notifications, puts phone away) Friend: Well? Me: Well what?
@XplodingUnicorn: [loud crashes] Me: What was that? 4-year-old: Nothing. Me: 4: Me: OK. Parenting is easier than it looks.