@anylaurie16: Chelsea Clinton charges $65,000 for a 10 minute speech. How many times has her husband said, "Honey, I can’t afford to hear about your day.”
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@ComedyCarter: In life, God is my co-pilot. Unfortunately He is on the no-fly list thanks to His ties to several extremist groups.
@MandiAtRandom: Girls storing chips in their bras...pfft amateurs. I've got spaghetti and half a taco from this afternoon in there
@iFluff8: Men ask us if we're naked when we tell them we're taking a bath. THAT'S why they pay more for their car insurance.