@BadassBarbie11: Chicken Pot Pie sounds like a delicious 3 course meal.
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@ArfMeasures: ME: This car's perfect except for one thing WIFE: Yes, there's no room for the childre- ME: [finds cup holder] lol I was wrong, it's perfect
@Angibangie: I only keep Facebook for the birthday reminders and to randomly unfriend people so they wonder what they did wrong.
@senderblock23: [someone reading a beautiful poem in german] ME: i have never been more frightened