@TheWadest: Chicks love guys with tattoos cuz it means they're willing to commit to something stupid for the rest of their lives...
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@causticbob: My local radio station is asking people to send in funny photographs taken when you were pissed. So I've sent in my wedding album.
@tinatbh: All my friends look like a Victoria's Secret model and I look like a Victoria sponge cake
@kelkulus: My iPhone corrects "WHOA" to "WHOSE", which just made my text response to "I JUST HAD A BABY!!!" a little awkward.
@LindzThoughts: I have decided to leave my past behind me.. so If I owe you money..I'm sorry. but I've moved on.