@WheelTod: "Children can be very cruel," I reassure my 6 year-old. "But sometimes it seems like you aren't even trying."
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@brettminor: In 1993, I saw a toddler slip on ice and land on a cat, but I didn't have any social media outlet to tell people about it. So, here it is.
@jaslakhmna: ME to BF: "We need to talk about the future." BF: "what about it,you wanna talk about flying cars and robots and stuff?"
@AdderallMomma: *knocks on donation door Me: I have a donation Salvation Army: Ma'am, once again... you cannot donate your man Me: You have stupid rules!