@Nikkeya08: Children change a lot of things like now if I get lost in a corn maze I just lay down and take a nap or run toward the guy with a chainsaw.
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@GrantTanaka: wife: some salmon travel hundreds of miles upstream just for the chance to spawn me: ok ok I'll take my shoes off
@whatmaddness: *sees 54-year old on American Ninja Warrior* Through a mouthful of ice cream, "I've got plenty of time."
@sucittaM: Ask someone if they'll watch your bag for you but never actually leave just sit there and watch your bag together with your new friend.
@PaperWash: *Signs into Facebook "If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best" is posted everywhere *Agrees *Deletes Facebook