@jedfudally: childrens alphabet books are the only thing keeping us from forgetting what a xylophone is
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@Elizasoul80: I don't have an inner child. I have an inner old person who wants everyone to shut up.
@andylassner: Never trust anyone who says you need to come out of your shell because let's start with the fact that they think you're a turtle
@turbomanatee: I didn't know when your wedding was because you spelled out the date and time like a goddamn medieval sorcerer.
@Brentweets: "Do you need help with your math homework Billy?" "Yeah I sure do Dad!" "Well you're shit out of luck"