@Aspersioncast: China are probably making all the medals anyway.
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@AristotlesNZ: I don't like telling people I used to be a stalker. It sounds better saying "I spent a lot of time studying a broad."
@CubanaMama82: If you're ever lost in the woods and have a compass, the compass can help you be lost more north.
@msdanifernandez: *on death bed* priest: any regrets my child? *montage of every time i saw a large dog and didn't try to ride it* me: uhhhhh
@AGreaterMonster: So the Macarena turns out to be about a girl double-teaming her boyfriend's friends. Now we know the lyrics were crowd-sourced from Twitter.