@OneFunnyMummy: Chips are not only delicious, but if you crunch them loud enough you can't hear your children anymore.
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@msdanifernandez: If you liked "These Boots Are Made for Walkin" youll enjoy other hits like "This Toaster Toasts Things" and "Whats the Phone Number for 911"
@senderblock23: No, I said I wanted to BING you on my kitchen counter. You know, the popular search engine?
@Jake_Vig: What I say: "Agree to disagree" What I really mean: "You are dumb and I will allow you to stay that way"
@ibid78: [my 1st day as a doctor] I can't find a pulse [patient] that's a trashcan. I'm over here [me] hold on, I think this trashcan is dying