@Laser_Cat: Chocolate fountains are so 20th century. This is the future. At my wedding we're having a burrito fountain.
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@TheMichaelRock: Breaking News: Radio Shack is closing 1,100 stores nationwide. Even Breakier News: I can't believe there's 1,100 Radio Shack's.
@AmericanGent69: David Copperfield: Ok I want everyone in the audience to think of a color. Ready? Ok, is your color grey? Audience full of Dogs: OMG!
@theevilwriter: When I was a kid my family was so poor my parents were forced to give my imaginary friend up for adoption.
@pizzajaynow: She asked me to buy Tampons so I bought Kotex, because that one time I wanted ice cream and she bought frozen yogurt.