@evanrhorne: "Chocolate is so yummy it'd probably taste good on mothballs." - inventor of Whopper Candies.
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@Iwriteforcats: Jake and the Cat Man: One man solves crime, the other spends the entire show being startled by thunder.
@dafloydsta: GOOD COP: Tell us what you know BAD COP: Or we'll turn up the heat DAD COP: DON'T YOU TOUCH THAT DAMN THERMOSTAT
@StellaGMaddox: I get so excited when Facebook tells me there are hot singles in my city who want to meet me. Maybe they want to babysit!