@evanrhorne: "Chocolate is so yummy it'd probably taste good on mothballs." - inventor of Whopper Candies.
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@onelongbender: Everyone wants their kid to learn to walk until exactly 30 seconds after their kid learns to walk.
@markedly: Accidentally said "shh" instead of "slow down" and a kid silently ran into a glass door
@AnkCoupleTO: Have single guys scared of the "Friend Zone" even heard of long-term relationships or marriage?