@evanrhorne: "Chocolate is so yummy it'd probably taste good on mothballs." - inventor of Whopper Candies.
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@kumailn: Donald Sterling saying racism is not a problem is like mosquitoes saying malaria is not a problem.
@VerifiedJayy: According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, "neighborhood watch" isn't what I thought it was
@McNevich: Hi guys! Nick is very handsome and an amazing cook. Are there any nice girls interested inMOM GET OFF MY TWITTER YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING
@Hormonella: "I love this song!" "This is my favorite song!" "I love this song!" "No, THIS is my favorite song!" ~ Me, listening to my own playlist