@thenatewolf: *Chooses paper towels instead of the hand dryer right as a tree walks into the bathroom*
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@JediGigi: People whose TL is only quotes from famous people---You do realize you're not a desk calendar, right?
@LOVELADONNIS: Woman on the plane just asked her crying son "are you gonna be a gangsta or a crybaby" I'm like damn are these the only options?
@SatansTongue: *el chapo dies* God: okay I'm gonna have to send you to hell Chapo: ok *3 weeks later* Angel: El Chapo has escaped from hell