@Sickayduh: Christian epileptics don't appreciate when you tell them "Jesus is the reason for the seizin"
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@TheFearBoners: When God closes a door, He opens a window. God does not give a shit about your electric bill.
@SuperTeeWhy: [School] Teacher: What's ur biggst fear? Child1: Ghosts! Child2: Dogs! Child3: That humanity's core reaction to misunderstanding is anger
@paperphotoyo: When a man falls asleep next to me, I like to sniff his arm pit. Then he usually gets mad, I have to ride a different bus, it's a big mess.