@Sickayduh: Christian epileptics don't appreciate when you tell them "Jesus is the reason for the seizin"
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@ibid78: Ever since we lowered our ceilings here at the shipyard, sails have gone through the roof.
@Brentweets: "Fluffy died today" "Oh my god I'm so sorry, was he a cat or dog? "He was a boa constrictor" "Well that made me feel better"
@ThisOneSayz: Unless you have stellar reflexes, throwing a bouncy ball at your spouse during an argument is not the best choice.
@daemonic3: We're having sweet potato fries with dinner "Haha sweet potatoes?" DON'T "Don't what?" You're gonna make a dumb potato pun "I YAM NOT!"