@Cryptoterra: Christian politicians hate science because they think it's always talking about two Adams bonding
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@MythicPicnic: Bought a new exercise program Instructions said to stop if I felt any discomfort So I did
@KeetPotato: gang leader: "this isnt what i meant when i said go rob the store" me: [putting 19 cartons of milk in fridge] "you should be more specific"
@SamGrittner: *opens up briefcase in court, revealing snakes* "Wait. Then that means-" [cut to my nemesis waking up surrounded by my opening statement]
@nerdreign: When runner-ups in reality shows say, "I may not have won but I'm still a winner," do they understand how language and/or competition works?