@Cryptoterra: Christian politicians hate science because they think it's always talking about two Adams bonding
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@Marlebean: *sees cute doctor in scrubs* *falls over* HELP! I need mouth-to-mouth! Doc: ... Me: Aren't you obligated to help? Husband: GET UP!
@fightforfood: There's no dumb questio— "Why'd my parents get divorced?" See. His parents most likely split up because he's an interrupting little shit
@DionneMcNutt: Using Romeo & Juliet to express how inlove you are is like using Hamlet to show how close and well adjusted your family life is.
@offsidebastard: The girl across from me is on the phone to her boyfriend. I regret nodding when she told him she looked terrible.