@ChaoticBeny: Christmas always sucked when I was a kid because I believed in Santa Claus, and unfortunately, so did my parents. #Christmas
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@arandomhim: *walks into the hottest restaurant w/out a reservation* We're fully booked "Ahem, I'm Yelp reviewer TURDBONER69" Sorry sir right this way
@QwertyJones3: Mankind is capable of unimaginable feats of engineering and yet the windows on the airplane never line up with the seats.