@jonnysun: *christopre walken givig tour of apt* this is my.. walken closet. and these boots. these boots were made.. *long unecesary pause* for walken
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@captainkalvis: me: one coffee please barista: one coffee, got it. and how do you take it? me: *suddenly nervous in the face of such a simple question * w-with my hands
@ElliotHetherton: [date] Her: tell me something about yourself Me: *remembers girls like tough guys* I killed a man Her: ... Me: *remembers girls also like sensitive guys* but I cried afterwards
@PFitzpa: Please do not return empty candy wrappers to the dish. It leads to false expectations and uncontrollable rage.
@J0hnnyBlaze: If she didn't reply to any of your 20 texts, she probably doesn't have good cell service. Definitely don't stop texting her