@jonnysun: *christopre walken givig tour of apt* this is my.. walken closet. and these boots. these boots were made.. *long unecesary pause* for walken
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@triviastigma: us: pls chronological timelines insta: what? insta stories? us: nonono chronological timelines insta: did you mean IGTV us: NO CHRONOLOGICAL TIMELINES insta: ohhhh you want to scroll horizontally #instagramupdate
@TheSharona06: Sent him a pic and he replied "BOOM!!" Trying to figure out if that means he liked it or he threw himself on a grenade.
@toomanytoes: (Bar) Him-Are you seeing anyone? Me-Oh yes. [I wink at the weird clown that resides on the very edge of my peripheral vision at all times]
@lcwf70: Failed Hallmark card: I'm sorry I stabbed you with a fork when you leaned in to kiss me. I thought you were going to take my taco.