@iAmSuzieA: Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. He scares the shit out of it.
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@helltotheyaya: Yeah, sex is awesome. But have you ever put clothes on straight out of the dryer?
@jimmytorosian: Good cop: We know it was you. Just confess. Murderer: I didn't do nothin' Breaks the fourth wall cop: Your name in this tweet is Murderer.