@iAmSuzieA: Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. He scares the shit out of it.
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@TheTweetOfGod: The question is not "Why is Instagram not working?", but "Why does the world need another picture of you?" #instagramnotworking
@joss: Mean people tell me "you've got a face only a mother could love" but the joke's on them because she didn't
@krisv_723: Of course I work out. I do burpees after drinking pop. I do lunges to grab the last slice of pizza & squats if I drop it.
@SatansTongue: "Ok welcome to ask stupid questions club. Any questions?" Is this ask stupid questions club? "You're now the leader of this club" What club?