@iAmSuzieA: Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. He scares the shit out of it.
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@moose_chocolate: "Carrie" is my favourite movie about how religious faith leads to supernatural mass murder.
@ActualPerson084: FREE IPAD FOR ANSWERING A SIMPLE SURVEY. 1) WHERE DO YOU LIVE? 2) DO YOU OWN WEAPONS? 3) WHEN ARE YOU MOST VULNERABLE? #NIGHTOFTHEFREEIPAD
@JackeeHarry: It's going to take 14 years to put Harriet on the $20? I've got a friend in Chesterfield Square who can print some off in an hour..
@ch000ch: Me: hands up, this is a robbery? 7-11 cashier: Therapist: what did we talk about Me: (firmly) this is a robbery.