@chuck_facts: Chuck Norris tries this at home.
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@filthybeggar1: People who put "Retired" on their Linked In acct: I'm not certain you've grasped the site.
@Reverend_Scott: I have a great story to tell u. "Why don't u just go write a book" Wow, that's- "Don't u dare say it-" a novel idea. "I'm moving out"
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: If I worked in a used record store I would tell every customer "all sales are vinyl" until I was fired. It would be worth it.
@TheCatWhisprer: WIFE: you forgot to run the dishwasher again, didn't you? ME: [drinking milk from a flower vase] no, why?