@TheTweetOfGod: "Church of England Formally Approves Female Bishops". Congratulations British women! You can now move diagonally!
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@BritishNicx: Me: Oh yeah, baby. Tie me up and put a blindfold on me...Grrrr. Him: Erm...I'm only here to rob the bank...and I have a boyfriend.
@Underchilde: Dear Abby, I want to run over my neighbor with my SUV. How can I do that without raising my insurance rates?
@pleatedjeans: If u drink the blue liquid from a Magic 8-Ball u can see the future trust me my friend Keith did once & said he was gonna die & then he did
@CindyMeakin: What did the boy with no hands get for christmas? Gloves! Just kidding, I don't know what he got. He hasn't opened it yet.