@Inconsteveable: Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.
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@jilleb163: I didn't realize how many of the songs on my iPod are about sex and drugs until I hit "shuffle" in a car with a 12-year-old in it.
@peachesanscream: Told my friends that I was qualified to give them Botox injections. I raised a few eyebrows.
@VerifiedJayy: How do Amish guys know if its a romantic candlelit dinner or just regular dinner?