@kwkorpi: Cigarettes that help you quit chewing gum.
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@Black__Elvis: I was in an Arby's bathroom taking a leak and the urinal cake fell to the floor but it was there for less than 5 seconds so I still ate it.
@Mr_Kapowski: *guy looks around to see if anyone is looking* *sees the coast is clear, licks tree* And that's how they found out about maple syrup
@AnOrangeSNES: *Walking with wife listening to Dust In The Wind* Me: This is our song. *A dude walks by listening to it* Me: That's OUR song! GIVE IT BACK!