@WheelTod: Cinderella & Clark Kent would be a fun couple. Any time she took off her shoe or he took off his glasses, it'd be: "Who the hell are you?!"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WheelTod: Any time I see a dog in a baby stroller I assume the dog has somehow established dominance & the baby is back at home stuck in a kennel.
@decentbirthday: [before date] friend: make everything about her [date] waiter: *trips and spills food everywhere* me: *to date* this is all your fault
@DiamondLou69: If the band Toto, drummer Tommy Lee & singer Marvin Gaye ever got together and made an album... ...I'm pretty it would be Toto Lee Gaye.
@DrCephalopod: ACQUAINTANCE: read any good books lately? ME: yeah, I just finished "How to Make Friends and Hypnotize People" ACQUAINTANCE: I think it's "Influence People" ME: *swinging watch* no it's not FRIEND: you're right buddy, it's not