@Sarcasticsapien: Cinderella is my favorite story about women who fight over a man who doesn't even remember what a woman he spent the night with looks like.
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@dyldonot: "any questions for Mr. deGrasse Tyson?" [I knock over an old woman while sprinting to the mic] HOW DOES AIR CONDITIONING WORK IN SPACE?
@Fazio_N: You've been robbed by *360 spin* A smooooth crimi- *trips over own feet, drops tv, & butt dials police*
@mishakey: Going to meet my daughter's kindergarten teacher tonight. Her name is Miss Cox. Not sure I'm mature enough for this situation.
@gojarbe: *spills water on pants* ok don't let anyone think you peed your pants "hey what happ--" MY WATER BROKE, GET ME TO THE HOSPITAL